How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
