paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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