38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
