I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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