so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
