thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize