He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
