We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He passed out mid-signature
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
