this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
