feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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