my sisters under your porch take her home
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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