I didn't shave. On purpose
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
