Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
