she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
