Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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