Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
