none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
