brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
