i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
it's great music for shaving your balls
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
