His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
