I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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