Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
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