she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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