i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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