I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
