Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
