Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
