Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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