It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
