i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
