This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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