what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
