so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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