dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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