I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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