He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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