Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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