i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
