I'll bet she douches with gravy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
