Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
