forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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