So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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