i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize