I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
