After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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