I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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