Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
