dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
