it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
