Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
