Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
When did angry sex become our thing?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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