So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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