don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
