I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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