The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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