this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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