I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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