If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Randomize
