At least make sure they are 18
Why
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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