morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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