Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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