Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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