She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
