My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
