Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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