I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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