Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
